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You are invited to share your story on surviving personal violence — domestic violence, war/military trauma, suicide, sexual assault, parental/child separation, parental incarceration, homelessness, human trafficking, secondary trauma, substance  abuse, hate crimes, etc.
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Our Goal: At Hey Trauma, we are expanding the conversation to “What happens after trauma enters your life?” for all survivors who experience violence and those also impacted — their partners, friends, and family. Not only is a broader conversation needed, but a broader understanding surrounding the mental and physical AFTERMATH of violence in general…without shaming, blaming, invalidating, or placing the survivor on trial. We at Hey Trauma, want to destigmatize life post personal violence, increase trauma awareness, and give voice to what is often silenced, dismissed, and shamed.
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Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


 
 
 
19 Hey Trauma Stories.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


I thought I would forever more be that scared little girl clutching her little sister while tears covered my face. I thought the screams would forever more echo in my head. But now I barely remember the exact words spoken. All I remember is how scared I was. and the times I’ve been scared since. But every time I feel my life has come to an end I always wipe the tears away and get back up. no matter how hard it has been.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


Hey Trauma, the day we met…

You took my breath away. I gasped. I fought. I feared for my life. I thought only of my children. I couldn't believe I wouldn't have a chance to tell them "Good Bye" as well as all the other things I thought I'd have a lifetime to tell them — to teach them. But it was not my time. I survived. I vowed to live — to really live! It took time. At first I was only surviving. I was still gasping for air.

Hey Trauma, the day we became friends…
Slowly I found joy in small moments in life. I found joy in books, specifically in memoirs of others who I saw myself in and would think of as my friends. I found joy in becoming my truest self — the imperfectly perfect self that is me. For this transformation, I'm grateful to the wonderful, accepting, compassionate, kind, and daring people who walked into my life — or maybe I walked into theirs.

So Trauma, I thank you for waking me up! For shaking me hard. For teaching me how to live more authentically, more kindly, more courageously, more adventurously, and more blissfully than ever before.

I carry you with me not as a reminder of pain, but as a reminder of life — of how precious the present moment is. I carry you with me not as a reminder of hopelessness, but as a reminder of hope through love.

~Renata

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


It's strange how trauma affects you, because not one day has gone by that I haven't thought about what happened, there are still good and bad days…going out and trusting people has become a mission, I get socially anxious even though I really want to surround myself with people. It can be frustrating, but it's important to remind myself I'm still healing.

There is this analogy John Lock gives to Charlie when he was going through heroine withdrawals in the famous TV show 'Lost'. Somehow it stayed with me and now I can relate to it more than ever.

A butterfly needs to fight and push its way out of it's cocoon. If it gets helps along the way, it won't develop the strength and necessary survival skills for its new and evolved state/life.

I liken myself to the butterfly and the trauma is my cocoon. Eventually I will develop the strength to find my way out of it but until then I will take my time to heal. No one else can break this cocoon for you because it's in you…you have to be strong and keep trying. This is Gods way of preparing me for what I need to become..I will emerge from it evolved and stronger than I ever was…

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


~ Domestic Violence ~

It was so beautiful being in love, having found the one, getting married, moving to a new and exciting city.I had so many hopes and dreams, it was almost too good to be true; until it was.

You ripped my heart and soul out, you isolated and humiliated me, you beat me up and degraded me, I’ll never forget how You dragged me out of the apartment by my hair after you threw me to the floor and kicked me in the stomach, in front of an audience who sat and watched silently as you stripped me off my dignity. I couldn’t do anything to defend myself in the hopes you would let me back in at some point at night. No one wanted to help me fearful of your rage. You knew I had no where to go. I never felt so weak and desperate in my life.

Whenever I try to recall why I didn’t get help, its because I had never known pure evil. I always believed deep down people are good, in doing so I worsened my plight. and ended up validating your urge to abuse me and invalidate all the harm you were inflicting. I didn’t realize then how badly suppressing abuse would affect me later. I would cover up my face with makeup so no one could see the marks…But then makeup couldn’t conceal it anymore either… but If I could just convince myself it didn’t happen, then everything would be ok….is what I kept telling myself. This was the worst form of injustice that I had sentenced myself to until I realized that neither I, nor any amount of makeup can hide the fact that you will eventually kill me.

Now I’m safe and far away from you, there are still days my heart beats so fast and I get that sick feeling in my gut whenever you would come for me…..but when I remember you can’t come here, I can breathe again…I can dream again….I’m finally beginning to look like me again.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


Once upon a time,

The past is a story we tell ourselves and your tale is captivating. Fully immersive, breathtaking, thoroughly suffocating. Your twists and turns leave me bewildered and looking for a face that is never there to look back for mine.

Like the knowing child I squint my eyes at your horror because I must be determined not willing, to witness you as you force your way into me. I harbor you in my stomach and when I must speak your words from my belly I am nothing if not captivating too.

When I raise my voice to my chest to speak closer to their hearts must my own plummet into your depths?

"Leave alone with me" you said, and I replied "leave me alone". My wish became their command. Thus you had me all to yourself.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


I once ran away from home thinking it was where the ghosts lived, but it turns out they've been inside me this whole time, haunting the halls of my hollow chest.

Trauma, you may be able to find me in the quiet moments, but you will never win this battle. Knowing you so well has made me stronger and more determined. I will prevent you from making an acquaintance with others where I can, and one day I am going to help develop the tools to fight back once and for all. Enjoy your stay while you can– it won't be long.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


Little Brother,

A lot of people say it should've been me or I would trade my life for yours. That day I would've gladly given mine for yours, you called me big brother. You are a Man among Men and make me want to honour your life by living mine in a way that would make you have that cheeky smile.

I don't know if you came over to my sector of fire to talk or thats where your squad leader set you in. I was happy to get back to the COP and take off my kit, then we got told to put it right back on we were going back out as QRF.

Lt. was right by me and I could hear his radio, I could see the MEDIVAC bird and its escort hovering over mountain, then I heard something that brings tears to my eyes now your ZAP info. and that you were now an Angel.

I didn't even clear the danger area Lt. and I just started to run, pretty soon it was just me and him in the saddle, I set up far side security and waited for the rest of the Plt. to cross the danger area.

When we got back to the COP and I was counting the guys back in, I noticed one of the Soldiers was covered in blood.

I started to do a blood sweep, yelling for Doc and asking what happened?

He just stared at me blankly and said no big brother; "This is Bob."

I looked at my hands, looked at him, grabbed him, and made him a shower and got him a clean uniform.

I knew he needed to wash you off of him, he needed to put on a clean uniform, to feel like a human being again.

Later the PSG and I almost got in a fist fight because I decided getting Ted cleaned up was more important than hearing the CO talk to us.

When I took off my kit and uniform a rock fell out, I remember pulling security in the saddle and wondering what was poking me but there was more pressing issues to deal with.

I wanted to mourn, I needed to cry, I wanted to fight but the Plt. was a shit show and someone had to remain "strong."

At your memorial service I held it together till 1SG read off your whole name and I lost it, as the combat camera girl snapped pictures of me crying for my Little Brother she tried to I guess give me strength by smiling and making a fist, this was the wrong time for her support and I just missed kicking her camera into her face.

Im closer with your Momma than my own I talk to her almost daily. I try to honour your memory by doing something of value on that day, I did something in Korea that had never been done before and even made the newspaper. I had a plaque made that your parents proudly display in your bedroom.

One day, I promise you, I will ride out and see you.

I will leave that rock on your head stone.

When I ride my bike and its a beautiful day or I look at my daughter I don't always say it aloud but I say it in my heart.

Thank You Little Brother

Love&Respect

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


– Veteran/ War Trauma –

I was a young man full of patriotism and fire. I was with my brothers in a strange world far away from the comforts of home, Waffle House and our local watering hole. You found me when I least expected. Like any other day, we were joking and smoking and then like a terrible storm out of nowhere it became. 3 hours of instincts and training. Then it all went silent and it all went away. Some of my brothers were gone now. The sounds of laughter only moments before diminished and turned into anger and pain. I tried to ignore you and power through. The mission had to get done and there was no time to mourn no time to remember. Just get back safe. I tried to drink you away, live vicariously to avoid you, and fight harder to ignore you. However, you never left me. You always stayed a permanent fixture that would tear apart my morality and my feelings of remorse. For 20 years, you remained like a squatter and was unwilling to be forced out. Until one day, I finally decided to face you and I realized that you were nothing more than the truth in disguise. Your control over me has subsided But I know you will always be there in the darkness lurking. Waiting for me to be fearful and afraid to look at you again. I will not!! I see you warts and all and you have no power over me anymore!

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


– Mother of Abused Child –

You destroyed a family like a tornado ripping through a house, except unlike a Tornado you never left. While you targeted my child, the rippling affects were like a tsunami running through me.
You made me feel tragically helpless as the child that I once carried in me was no longer shielded in my womb. I stood watching her world fall apart little by little, while I tried to be strong for her.
You took every ounce of her childhood away from her and that I will never forgive you for. You continually make sure that you are never forgotten by forcing yourself upon her life, whether through a smell, a sound or a visual object.
She may never fully escape you but with enough love and respect, she will feel whole again that I do know.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


– Domestic Violence –

I lost every ounce of dignity for myself. I often feel shackled to shame, guilt, self-hate, and fear. When we move from childhood into adulthood there are many roles/identities you dream of stepping into, but ‘survivor’ isn’t one of them! But here I am…an unexpected survivor of abuse.

I’m often told – almost demanded – to get over it or move on. Sure, the bruises and bones have healed many times, but mentally I can’t get over the shame & pain of trauma. I feel nothing except worthless, sad, damaged from the inside out, unrecognizable.

For me trauma is a 20 foot wall that surrounds and blocks everything. Is this surviving?

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


You have stolen my life from me, my friends and even family members. Trauma you have spun a web that alowed you to latch on to negativity and create more trauma. Hey trauma I wonder sometimes what kind of person I would be without you. Hey traume hopefully I will understand you better in the future and sleep better at night.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


I was completely oblivious to the fact that you would change the whole entire course of my life. I tried for many months to pretend that I never met you. But even if my brain didn't know it, my body did. You took many things away from me that I still can't forgive you for. They were the people and things I loved most.
Over these past three years, you have disrupted every aspect of my life, but yet I'm so thankful to have met you. Without you, I wouldn't be the strong badass woman I am without the constant battling I've done to see this day. I wouldn't have this beautiful life without a plan that I cherish with all my heart. I used to believe it was you who brought me pain, that was my perpetrators. You gave me the ability to endure.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


– Victim of Bullying –

When I was a young girl, I was bullied, harassed, discriminated, and was talked negatively. I grew up feeling closed, insecure, afraid to speak out, made myself quiet. I have gotten used to silence and not saying a word. I could had been outgoing and amazing friend, however it’s not the case, it seems.

My parents, let’s just say that they meant well but they used the methods that I viewed unacceptable. It’s kinda hard to shun my parents but not really. It’s difficult.

In school, I can’t even tell you that I’m stressed as heck. I felt even more stressed when people and staff in my school make a comment, accusation, and something similar to that in front of me. I can see it but I feel insecure that I don’t call out my abuse all the time.

But that changed when I met my group of friends. I met my boyfriend, and I love him. I love my friends. They encouraged me to speak out, call out, and feel more secure about my feelings being hurt. Sure I have been called attention seeker but my friends know that I suffered so much in silence that they will listen to my struggle and I’ll do the same. Perhaps that trauma is something I need to work and refine myself.

Hopefully that I will accept you.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


Hey trauma,

You have tried to take everything from me. My mind, my body, my health, my soul. You have been in my family for generations, eventually passing your horribleness onto me.

But now I am no longer accepting it. As long as I am alive, I will fight to the teeth to get your grips out of my life

In spite of all the pain and heartache you have caused me, you helped me to evolve and become better, which I am grateful for.

But you will not break me.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


Hey Trauma,

The day we met I was in denial. I was dreaming a different reality and hoping for change.
I couldn’t believe the torture. I didn’t believe it. I concealed it, hoping know one would ever discover you were at the core of my existence.
The memories of you burn. The wettest water and strongest wind can’t extinguish the firey pit that lay inside me.
I wake up every day and try to work towards a brighter future.
The self hatred lingers, the destruction continues, Yet I am learning to love myself. I know who I am and you are not apart of that person. You will not define me!

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


For the longest time,
I wanted to BLAME you for all my "flaws".
.
I really believed you were THE reason for all my failures.
.
In actuality, it turned out that you helped wake me up.
.
It wasn't easy, but you became a source of empowerment for me.
.
That said, I used to believe you were a thief.
Ransacked my well-being
and tore the treasures from my deepest being.
.
It's confusing to know you as a monster and a savior.
.
That's just what you are.
A monster and a savior.
.
Or maybe I'm the savior,
and I've tamed the monster?
.
I don't know. The point is, I forgive you, and the things I create every day–
The things I create to contribute to the world PROVE my forgiveness to you.
.
I don't NEED to prove anything,
but I want to.
Because I'm awake and alive.
.
Anyways,
deep down I do love you–
unfortunately OR fortunately, that's how this winds up.
.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


– Domestic Violence –

You took everything that I had. My mind was quiet and I felt how the fear started to take part of my body. I had nothing. Even when I wanted to scream, fight you back, prove that I was stronger than you. I was numb.
I was empty. I felt shame. I was gone.

The time helped me to understand myself, to love me again, to respect myself, to empower my emotions, and to say NO! No More! Now, I have everything that you took away from me. I can truly live with myself.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


– Domestic Violence –

You changed my universe. You sunk me to the bottom of the ocean like a grain of sand, where I gasped for air endlessly as each second of my life passed me by.
.
You followed me everywhere I went and blinded me from the happy life that I once knew. You taught me the true meaning of fear, mistrust, deception but worse of all you showed me how to stop living.
.
Even though your poisonous ways will always run through my body like a dripping faucet, it is now that I have learned to see the better side of you. You showed me that ones strength can be endless, you showed me to speak until one is truly heard, you taught me that the power of positive thought is truly miraculous but what you taught me the most is to never take a happy feeling for granted again.
.
Yes, you will continue to sink me, blind me and scare me at times but I will in return continue to live in each happy moment.

Hey Trauma, The Day We Met


– Rape –

I didn’t quite understand you. You affected me in these profound and hurtful ways. You didn’t care for boundaries and in turn taught me to perpetuate that same toxicity on to others.
But oddly enough, I am better because of you. Through rape & racism alike, I am stronger. My resilience speaks volumes & helps to serve others who also have trauma.